The Three C's of Coaching

When I sit down these days I almost have to force myself to add my regular posts.

It's not that I don't want to do it, or god forbid that I am at a loss for words. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sadly, life and commitments elsewhere take their toll and become priorities sometimes. I HATE when that happens.

Enough whining - I keep thinking of the Tom Hanks line in "A League of Their Own"

"You're crying!? There's no crying in baseball..." sure it was a Baseball Americana - Horse-S%$# movie but, it could just as easily apply to OUR game and I could use it many times during a season.

I'll stop sobbing now and get to the subject of this post.

I find myself scratching my head at the way things have gone. I think I have done all the right things, covered off all the bases and followed my seasonal plan - but still we seem to be coming up short in our games.

As we hurtle towards the end of our season, I have been looking at what has gone on and it makes me think. Starting with the Try-outs and the tough decisions made that week, right through to the Summer Camp, things seemed to have been moving forward propelled by a momentum all their own.

I find myself wondering (worrying?) if this is a good thing, should I be more diligent in my control over events and the team dynamic or should I just let things fall into place and happen naturally. Watching and hoping is really not my nature.

In case you haven't noticed or have been lucky enough to live with a coach who takes what they do to heart - we are a seriously neurotic bunch. Did I do the right thing, at the right time - did it effect the outcome positively or negatively or did it have no impact at all.

We are also the world's biggest pessimists (on the inside hopefully - NOT projected to your team) and are always waiting for the wheels to fall off. We tend NOT to enjoy success to it's fullest as we know there will always be the inevitable fall to earth. My own psyche aggravates me to no end. I want to lose myself in the moment of triumph but, history has shown me you can be on top of the world one second and it can all fall apart the next. Sometimes from shift to shift - sometimes even in the SAME shift! I don't want to be like this - I just feel I need to be a step ahead and be prepared in the event something does go wrong - how can it be remedied - and how quickly?

Parents can stress over their individual child's performance and can micro-manage the player's evolution all they want. Multiply that by 17 and you'll begin to understand what we go through on a daily and weekly basis. Toss this all together into a big steaming pot of intrigue and drama (girls hockey), stir vigorously and don't forget to add the tension and demands of getting your team to perform at their highest at ALL TIMES and you'll begin to understand what we go through.

I can package this segment under the heading and what I like to call the:

"Three C's of Coaching"

Conviction: The first thing a coach must have is COMPLETE faith in their reasons for coaching in the first place. Be there for the RIGHT reasons and most importantly - Be there for ALL. Pass this on to your team through your actions and it will take us to the second point.

Compassion: All coaches like to spout this party line - Fairness for All - but can you look yourself in the mirror and say you have done your absolute best to understand that every person is unique - every player an individual with different challenges and needs? Do you make it your mandate to treat all players fairly without playing favourites? Can you be passionate without giving up control?

Consistency: This can be as small as the way you talk to your team and the message you send. Is it Consistent with your vision? Does it change throughout the season depending on circumstances? Do you have the same message in the dressing room or on the bench when you are successful? What about when things aren't going your way and the frustration is starting to build? Do you appear stable and Consistent in your manner towards your team?

In my experience and my mentor had told me this - Consistency through the seasonal trials is the hardest thing to achieve in coaching at any level. What messages are the players getting in your pre-game or post-game speeches? Are they focused or are you sending mixed signals that will confuse and frustrate your players?

I have trained myself (with MUCH help from many) to not speak when I am angry, to not let personal feelings colour my words and especially when dealing with young people - to NOT say anything you cannot take back. The old Karmic principle comes to mind. When you meet a person - the best thing you can do if you cannot help - is to "Do no harm".

Give yourself enough time to get your thoughts in order and revisit the situation if you must from a more calm and rational perspective.

The old adage is very appropriate - if you can celebrate but not get too high and feel remorse but not get too low you will be successful. There sun will always rise and unless you are in the final - another game. Relish those times, learn to live in the moment to truly experience the joy of coaching and having success.

As hard as it is: to fully appreciate winning - you have to experience defeat. What you do with those setbacks will help define you as a coach and even more - as a person.

Of course - I could just be full of crap with an outlet to vent. Your call, there are no wrong answers.